Let's be frank, singleness can take it's toll. Being the age that I am, it's waaaaay too easy to throw myself a pity party. And now that I'm living on my own, seems as though I have a bit more time to me and my tumbling mess of thoughts.
But, I assure you this will not be one of those singleness-is-awful-woe-is-me entries. Being unattached is not awful. Not in the least bit.
[And as an additional disclaimer, I dislike lingering on this subject of singleness, particularly the whole being content to wait aspect. In fact, I'm quite reluctant to even write on it. It's talked about so much...in books, magazine articles, blog posts, spoken about on the radio, etc. But like it or not, what we learn in singleness is very applicable to just about any area of our lives, no matter what stage we find ourselves in.]
So bear with me for a minute.
I was having one of those days...er, weeks. Really frustrated and felt like at one point, throwing myself on the floor and indulging in a good tantrum. [But then my momma's voice piped up and reminded me that that wouldn't do any good...and of course, Mom is always right.] Anyways, the battle over my mind and heart was raging. I felt like an exhausted warrior. I kept repeating my little mantra "God is in control. He knows what's best." The truth provided mild relief to my aching heart. My attempts to trust didn't seem to be making things easier.
Then I remembered my one word I had chosen for 2012. Persevere. Recalling that whatever I face as a Christian is gonna eventually take some sweat and tears, and I need to roll up my spiritual sleeves and get to work. Just thinking about it almost sent me over the edge.
Sounds dramatic, I know. But that's where I was, and I'm ever so thankful my Father takes the good, the bad and the ugly.
Over the span of a couple of days I found myself kneeling before my Lord, pouring out my "woes" and then being completely overwhelmed by the peace and strength He gave in abundance. The Spirit kept taking me back to the basics. God is sovereign, are you going to trust in that?
As much as my mind was ready to "yes! I choose to trust!" My heart hadn't quite caught up. There was work still to do and the wrestling continued.
Through devotionals and scripture, and yes, even the radio He was faithfully reminding me that He has the perfect design and plan in place for the story that He is weaving. A story that that crosses time and space and involves all of creation and I graciously get to be a part of it.
All the pieces of truth that the Lord had been feeding to me came together in one big culmination when I read a particular portion of chapter ten from One God One Message by P.D. Bramsen. It went something like this, "Notice who officiated the first marriage ceremony. It was the LORD. The Scripture says, "He brought her to the man." From the start, the Creator was directly involved in the lives of the people He had created for Himself."
He has got it all in His very capable hands. Start to finish.
It's a simple truth, and in my pride I chided myself for being so immature as to not trust my loving heavenly Father. But the whole process unearthed deeper issues that needed to be addressed. And by His grace, they are being acknowledged and taken to the cross.
So, if you find yourself single right now [or if you're not, but you're waiting on the Lord's direction with a matter], don't lose heart. But find it in your Father's hands. Accept that He indeed can truly satisfy completely.