:: Risk ::

That's "my" word for 2011.

Not a resolution, mind you. I'm not a big fan of feeling like a failure. Just a my own one syllable cheerleader, of sorts.

It will be nearby, ready to pull out when there is decisions to make and steps to take. Keeping it in mind to challenge and inspire me.

A powerful little word to steer my focus and bolster my resolve.

I'm not looking to add reckless stupidity to my life...heaven knows I have plenty of that already. Rather, I desire the word "risk" to nudge me out of my comfort zone, push me beyond my self-inflicted limits, especially when it comes to a certain relationship I have with my Creator and Savior.

He requires radical devotion. Nothing less. Sadly, I've been giving less.

It's time to risk reputation, longings, aspirations, time, energy

mind

body

and soul...for Him.


P.S. This "one word" idea came from Alece over at Grit&Glory :)

Sneaky, sneaky...

Christmas really snuck up on me this year (side note: don't you find it odd when people say this? I mean, Christmas is at the same time EVERY year lol). And my house is proof. Not one Christmas decoration is displayed yet...instead, you'll still find all the autumn decor adorning various places of the house. Leaves on the mantle, pumpkin scented candles on the tables, harvest potpourri, pumpkins at the door, a pot of forlorn mums...and what is today? December 17th. I find this mildly amusing and vastly pathetic.

::Happy sigh:: This is life, and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because this is the way we roll.


This Sunday afternoon has been designated "Owen girls baking day" by our matriarch. Thus all our holiday traditions will commence with one giant leap. With us four ladies in the kitchen there's sure to be a chaotic explosion of flour, sugar and everything chocolaty. Not sure how the goodies will turn out, but we'll make some memories in the process. And that's what counts.



I love this time of year. The lights, the music, the smells, the traditions and the giving. Besides the fact that it beautifully reminds me of my Savior's birth, it brings our family together for quality (hopefully lol) time...even though we tend to do everything last minute when it comes to this particular holiday (our tree doesn't even go up till Christmas Eve!)

We're all supposed to go grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon...and I think I'll try and make each of us wear either a severely outdated sweater or an ugly holiday one for our trek to the store. ::evil laugh:: Good times!

There's only a week left till Christmas...let's get this party started!

How would you like that cooked?

Would you help me with something? I need your assistance in coming up with a few unique and probing questions that will give me specific insight.

I've been cooking as a personal chef for close to a year now. Whether its following a recipe or creating a new dish on my own, my ultimate goal is that it will be to my client's particular liking, regardless of whether I would even eat the dish or not. If there is any stress in my job, it would be here. Believe it or not, as personal as food is people can tend to be too vague about how they truly like it (I'll frequently get the "oh, nothing too spicy...you know what I like, surprise me!" I don't know what you like, that's why I'm asking *sigh*), giving me little to work with as I blindly make something, hoping it will hit their fancy. As I look at expanding my mini-business, I've realized that I need to arm myself with a slew of probing questions that will assist me in my effort to provide more than satisfying cuisine.

And here's where you come in. What would be a good question to ask? A question that will MAKE someone give me a specific answer. Taste buds can be tricky things.

Muchas gracias!

A little of this...

...a little of that.

I have had so many ideas swirling around about what to post this week. Heart reflections, funny quotes, odd little videos I found amusing on Youtube, excerpts from a sermon on Sunday...but nothing seemed to quite stand out. Thus a blogger's lamest excuse will be utilized: I just couldn't formulate any thoughts of my own clearly enough for viewing...so, I will succumb to what I'm really excited about: randomness!

{Random #1} Take a minute and read something crazy by Alece over at Grit & Glory. Thought provoking.

{Random #2} My current literary pleasures are Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan, Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, Global Strategy the Biblical Plan of Missions, and Anthropological Insights for Missionaries by Paul G. Hiebert. This combination is like a forceful reality check and insight all rolled together. What are you currently reading?

{Random #3} Two new developments on my horizon this week. First, I might get involved with Child Evangelism Fellowship again, assisting a local Good News Club held at a school (interesting story about how this all came about...but that will have to wait till next time!). Second, I might go to Gujarat, India at the end of November with a team from Grace Community Church in Pennsylvania. Not really sure how I will get the funds to go in such a short amount of time. But! I am confident that if this is where the Lord wants me to go it will all come together. (Did I just pack two random bits into one? tsk tsk)

{Random #4} Been meditating on Mark 6:30-32 and Mark 6:33-44 lately. What have you been meditating on in God's Word?

{Random #5} As many of you know I have a pretty slow paced job, thus I often have too much time on my hands to tickle my funny bone (no, not literally...that's weird). Here's my funny video pick of the week. I did this for you! ;)


There. That's my random post full of stuffage. Enjoy each day in Him!

{ wrestling }

It has been over a month since I last posted. Many a time I've found myself sitting at the computer, just staring at a blank screen, pathetically attempting to make some sense of what has been swirling around in my mind and heart. I just kept running into a brick wall. Figuratively, of course....although, I did feel like doing it for real a time or two.


Just within the last week have I finally found the words to even begin to journal again. *sigh* It's a slow process with me.


So...what two words would I use to describe this past month?


Wrestling.


{at first, I was going to type in capitols "frustration" but I realized that wrestling more aptly supplied meaning to my experience}


Rest.


If my soul was a professional wrestler, I'd be elite MMA quality. Who knew I could be so stubborn? {don't answer that} All that my soul longed for I fought against. Weird, I know. Kinda baffles me too.

It took me grappling with the idea that in order to have this rest I long for...me, myself and I have to get out of the way.

Many things contributed to this ordeal of my soul coming to a head...but really what set the bomb off was not being able to go to Burundi, staying home sick for two and a half of the three week "vacation", losing one of my sources of income and an overall sense of restlessness, and uselessness.

There was a lot of "why?" and "I'm tired" getting thrown around. Looking back, I had questions of the heart that I had conveniently pushed aside for the sake of my schedule, ministries, and general busyness of life that needed answers. Fears had to be faced. Realizing that I had put God in nicely organized boxes to fit my expectations, and that I truly didn't know the first thing about quieting my soul and LISTENING to Him was stretching, humbling and healing.

And the healing continues by His grace. Some of what I've dealt with seems quite trivial now, but I am so grateful that my Father in heaven didn't look down in scorn upon my silliness and finiteness, brushing me off in frustration for my inability to trust. But He faithfully directs and gently pursues.

I am being awakened to a rest that is oh! so sweet. God is good. No, beyond good...He is amazingly awesome.

I think I learned more from NOT going to Burundi then if I had...

So this is what it means to trust...

The trip was indeed epic. Epic fail (depending on your perspective).

I made it to the Johnsons late Friday evening, we finished packing and weighing the luggage, and early on Saturday morning we set out for Miami (a roughly four hour trip, give or take time for bathroom stops and a lunch break).

We made it to the Miami international airport, unloaded our 25+ bags and proceeded to check-in with little to no hiccups.

Then the news came. "They won't let us through."

To make a long story oh-so-much shorter, we lacked sufficient paperwork to be able to make it through customs once we arrived in London (entering Burundi would be no problem, go figure!).

So with heavy hearts, and tired kids we loaded up the parcels and headed back to Lakeland.

Lots of disappointment, questions and frustrations swirled. But through the midst of the confusion there came a peace as we chose to trust that God's sovereign hand was orchestrating these events perfectly. Exercising our faith, trusting in Him. This sudden turn of events does not equate to failure, quite the contrary. God is in control (shortly after returning home, we heard that there were three grenade attacks in the capitol...due to the current elections, minor upsets could ignite violence).

We may still head over to Burundi in the next week or so. Please be praying that the necessary paperwork will come through and we're able to obtain flights. Once again, there are so many variables to work through...but only one step at a time as He leads.

Ready to go!

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, the Johnson family and I will set out from Lakeland for Miami...catch our flight to London...London to Nairobi, Kenya...AND then finally to Bujumbura, Burundi.

30+ hours of travel. Three adults. Seven kids (did I mention two are toddlers?). Three people with colds (yep, that includes me too).

We'll be quite the sight, wearing you-can't-miss-us red shirts.

This trek is going to EPIC. I can just feel it.

Even JUST the journey of getting to this point has been nothing short of epic. Watching all the pieces come together (that I originally thought were close to impossible to surmount - oh me of little faith!) has left me in awe of my Lord in a new way. He leaves me breathless, with only one thing on my mind and heart: God is so good.

Without a doubt, I'm going to let God be my travel agent for life.

I'm going to AFRICA, people. Wowzers.

P.S. Confession: I still have to finish packing after I get home from work...but! I'm ALMOST about ready to go. *sigh* 'Tis the story of my life. lol