Sneaky, sneaky...

Christmas really snuck up on me this year (side note: don't you find it odd when people say this? I mean, Christmas is at the same time EVERY year lol). And my house is proof. Not one Christmas decoration is displayed yet...instead, you'll still find all the autumn decor adorning various places of the house. Leaves on the mantle, pumpkin scented candles on the tables, harvest potpourri, pumpkins at the door, a pot of forlorn mums...and what is today? December 17th. I find this mildly amusing and vastly pathetic.

::Happy sigh:: This is life, and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because this is the way we roll.


This Sunday afternoon has been designated "Owen girls baking day" by our matriarch. Thus all our holiday traditions will commence with one giant leap. With us four ladies in the kitchen there's sure to be a chaotic explosion of flour, sugar and everything chocolaty. Not sure how the goodies will turn out, but we'll make some memories in the process. And that's what counts.



I love this time of year. The lights, the music, the smells, the traditions and the giving. Besides the fact that it beautifully reminds me of my Savior's birth, it brings our family together for quality (hopefully lol) time...even though we tend to do everything last minute when it comes to this particular holiday (our tree doesn't even go up till Christmas Eve!)

We're all supposed to go grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon...and I think I'll try and make each of us wear either a severely outdated sweater or an ugly holiday one for our trek to the store. ::evil laugh:: Good times!

There's only a week left till Christmas...let's get this party started!

How would you like that cooked?

Would you help me with something? I need your assistance in coming up with a few unique and probing questions that will give me specific insight.

I've been cooking as a personal chef for close to a year now. Whether its following a recipe or creating a new dish on my own, my ultimate goal is that it will be to my client's particular liking, regardless of whether I would even eat the dish or not. If there is any stress in my job, it would be here. Believe it or not, as personal as food is people can tend to be too vague about how they truly like it (I'll frequently get the "oh, nothing too spicy...you know what I like, surprise me!" I don't know what you like, that's why I'm asking *sigh*), giving me little to work with as I blindly make something, hoping it will hit their fancy. As I look at expanding my mini-business, I've realized that I need to arm myself with a slew of probing questions that will assist me in my effort to provide more than satisfying cuisine.

And here's where you come in. What would be a good question to ask? A question that will MAKE someone give me a specific answer. Taste buds can be tricky things.

Muchas gracias!

A little of this...

...a little of that.

I have had so many ideas swirling around about what to post this week. Heart reflections, funny quotes, odd little videos I found amusing on Youtube, excerpts from a sermon on Sunday...but nothing seemed to quite stand out. Thus a blogger's lamest excuse will be utilized: I just couldn't formulate any thoughts of my own clearly enough for viewing...so, I will succumb to what I'm really excited about: randomness!

{Random #1} Take a minute and read something crazy by Alece over at Grit & Glory. Thought provoking.

{Random #2} My current literary pleasures are Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan, Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, Global Strategy the Biblical Plan of Missions, and Anthropological Insights for Missionaries by Paul G. Hiebert. This combination is like a forceful reality check and insight all rolled together. What are you currently reading?

{Random #3} Two new developments on my horizon this week. First, I might get involved with Child Evangelism Fellowship again, assisting a local Good News Club held at a school (interesting story about how this all came about...but that will have to wait till next time!). Second, I might go to Gujarat, India at the end of November with a team from Grace Community Church in Pennsylvania. Not really sure how I will get the funds to go in such a short amount of time. But! I am confident that if this is where the Lord wants me to go it will all come together. (Did I just pack two random bits into one? tsk tsk)

{Random #4} Been meditating on Mark 6:30-32 and Mark 6:33-44 lately. What have you been meditating on in God's Word?

{Random #5} As many of you know I have a pretty slow paced job, thus I often have too much time on my hands to tickle my funny bone (no, not literally...that's weird). Here's my funny video pick of the week. I did this for you! ;)


There. That's my random post full of stuffage. Enjoy each day in Him!

{ wrestling }

It has been over a month since I last posted. Many a time I've found myself sitting at the computer, just staring at a blank screen, pathetically attempting to make some sense of what has been swirling around in my mind and heart. I just kept running into a brick wall. Figuratively, of course....although, I did feel like doing it for real a time or two.


Just within the last week have I finally found the words to even begin to journal again. *sigh* It's a slow process with me.


So...what two words would I use to describe this past month?


Wrestling.


{at first, I was going to type in capitols "frustration" but I realized that wrestling more aptly supplied meaning to my experience}


Rest.


If my soul was a professional wrestler, I'd be elite MMA quality. Who knew I could be so stubborn? {don't answer that} All that my soul longed for I fought against. Weird, I know. Kinda baffles me too.

It took me grappling with the idea that in order to have this rest I long for...me, myself and I have to get out of the way.

Many things contributed to this ordeal of my soul coming to a head...but really what set the bomb off was not being able to go to Burundi, staying home sick for two and a half of the three week "vacation", losing one of my sources of income and an overall sense of restlessness, and uselessness.

There was a lot of "why?" and "I'm tired" getting thrown around. Looking back, I had questions of the heart that I had conveniently pushed aside for the sake of my schedule, ministries, and general busyness of life that needed answers. Fears had to be faced. Realizing that I had put God in nicely organized boxes to fit my expectations, and that I truly didn't know the first thing about quieting my soul and LISTENING to Him was stretching, humbling and healing.

And the healing continues by His grace. Some of what I've dealt with seems quite trivial now, but I am so grateful that my Father in heaven didn't look down in scorn upon my silliness and finiteness, brushing me off in frustration for my inability to trust. But He faithfully directs and gently pursues.

I am being awakened to a rest that is oh! so sweet. God is good. No, beyond good...He is amazingly awesome.

I think I learned more from NOT going to Burundi then if I had...

So this is what it means to trust...

The trip was indeed epic. Epic fail (depending on your perspective).

I made it to the Johnsons late Friday evening, we finished packing and weighing the luggage, and early on Saturday morning we set out for Miami (a roughly four hour trip, give or take time for bathroom stops and a lunch break).

We made it to the Miami international airport, unloaded our 25+ bags and proceeded to check-in with little to no hiccups.

Then the news came. "They won't let us through."

To make a long story oh-so-much shorter, we lacked sufficient paperwork to be able to make it through customs once we arrived in London (entering Burundi would be no problem, go figure!).

So with heavy hearts, and tired kids we loaded up the parcels and headed back to Lakeland.

Lots of disappointment, questions and frustrations swirled. But through the midst of the confusion there came a peace as we chose to trust that God's sovereign hand was orchestrating these events perfectly. Exercising our faith, trusting in Him. This sudden turn of events does not equate to failure, quite the contrary. God is in control (shortly after returning home, we heard that there were three grenade attacks in the capitol...due to the current elections, minor upsets could ignite violence).

We may still head over to Burundi in the next week or so. Please be praying that the necessary paperwork will come through and we're able to obtain flights. Once again, there are so many variables to work through...but only one step at a time as He leads.

Ready to go!

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, the Johnson family and I will set out from Lakeland for Miami...catch our flight to London...London to Nairobi, Kenya...AND then finally to Bujumbura, Burundi.

30+ hours of travel. Three adults. Seven kids (did I mention two are toddlers?). Three people with colds (yep, that includes me too).

We'll be quite the sight, wearing you-can't-miss-us red shirts.

This trek is going to EPIC. I can just feel it.

Even JUST the journey of getting to this point has been nothing short of epic. Watching all the pieces come together (that I originally thought were close to impossible to surmount - oh me of little faith!) has left me in awe of my Lord in a new way. He leaves me breathless, with only one thing on my mind and heart: God is so good.

Without a doubt, I'm going to let God be my travel agent for life.

I'm going to AFRICA, people. Wowzers.

P.S. Confession: I still have to finish packing after I get home from work...but! I'm ALMOST about ready to go. *sigh* 'Tis the story of my life. lol

Nothin' left...

...but watermelon rinds (not sure what happened to all the seeds lol) and tired, but happy little people!

Here's a peek into the weekend spent in Lakeland with the Johnson kidos.

::Tara and Angel making good ol' PB&J::

::Attack!::

::What a grin!::

::Christopher's funny face::

::Ready to escape the heat::

::Andy conquered the shark!::

::Sammy's giant leap!::

::Flying high!::

::Too much fun in the sun...::

Can't beat a weekend packed with sunshine, water, bike riding, laughter, games, and a movie or two...and Tara and I did all those things and more with a fun little crew - the Johnsons!

Step...by....complicated step

I have often heard Christians say that their approach to difficulties is to take situations "step by step"...an approach of reliance on God that seems to cause scenarios to become less complicated. I can see how that would be true...

But, I'm compelled to be honest. Applying this perspective in walking with Jesus, initially does not make things less stressful or uncomplicated for me. Relying on myself is an expertise of mine, one I have devoted many years to mastering. "Hurry! I want it NOW!" seems to be the mantra of my heart.

Time and again I have witnessed the Lord take a very deliberate, albeit slow (from my faulty perspective) approach to revealing plans. It seems to be His way. Some are paced out, but then sometimes they're like following an intense P90X interval workout (and if you haven't done one of these workouts...let me tell ya! it's crazy).

But, basically it's one step at a time. And that's what trips me up. I'm learning that I have to take myself completely out, and watch the Lord work in and through me.

Yesterday I sent in my application for a Burundian tourist's visa (yep, that's Burundi, Africa). Lately I feel as though I'm a walking check-list. Three weeks off work? check. Someone to cover job for three weeks? check. Flight? check. Inexpensive vaccination? check. Each increment was dependent on the one before, there wasn't room to rush ahead. This is God's school of "step by step". Building faith and trust in my finite heart and mind, leaving me completely in awe and excited!

Even though I initially found this process complicated and stressful (because I desired immediate answers) I have realized I rather like this "step by step", dependent-on-Someone greater-than-me way of living. Mind you, it's still a struggle to maintain, but I love the peace and carefree-ness it brings to life. Facing big decisions can actually be...dare I say? stressFREE.

Fancy that?!

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Take a minute and stop in at Rainmakers and Stormchasers...guest blogger Alece Ronzino posted a piece that is definitely worth noting. Be encouraged!

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I'm off tomorrow night to Lakeland to visit my adopted family, the Johnsons! They're in the middle of packing up everything in preparation for our departure to Burundi on June 12th...if you think of it, pray for our weekend. I'll see if I can capture some of our fun times with the camera and post them next week.

Along for the ride...Part 2

"I have learned to be content...I have learned the secret", Paul boldly states to the believers in Philippi.

I have often wondered if these two verses in chapter 4, coupled with "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain," from chapter 1 embody the meaning of "walking in Christ". Simple, child-like faith in Christ.

To be content is a learning process. That much I have realized. This secret isn't revealed in one "light bulb" moment that gets tucked under our belts, but rather step-by-step revelations as we gain more and more sensitivity toward the Holy Spirit . Small increment lessons, called experiences weave their way in and out along this journey our Father provides. Opportunities to learn are often right in front of us, but we usually speed past them with an annoyed, perhaps even angry glance because they frequently come in the form of waiting. We look for action, ready to just DO something, make that "super-imperative" decision just to satisfy our impatient hearts and minds. Similarly, not knowing what lays ahead causes wrecks. Chaining many a Christian to their swirling doubts and fears when its quiet, simple trust that we are called to submit.

When we're along for the ride, content to sit in the passenger seat allowing Christ to drive us along according to HIS will, life gets that naturally carefree, abandoned-type feeling. This contentment is still present even when bumps, forks in the road, and reckless other "drivers" would cause anxiety and disorder. (Philippians 4:7)

I've had a fair share of potentially contentment inducing experiences over the past year...to my regret; I let many of them slip by. But one has come along that can't be ignored. Witnessing the Father work each detail out has excited my soul, and left my heart in awe of His faithfulness. He is simplifying my life, and all my thoughts/presuppositions about this walking as a “Christian” in a radical way that is truly humbling. Allow me to share portions of this journey with you as I continue to learn...

Along for the ride...

Ever had the absolute splendid pleasure of taking a drive JUST for the heck of it? Not caring where you go, or how long you'll be gone; just willing to sit and soak in the still pictures you're fortunate to capture as the world whizzes past. Happiness. You meander along countryside and cityscape's, sans windows, reveling in authenticity of the world around you. The wind shouting in your ear that THIS is living. Being carefree never felt so natural!



You can't peg such a feeling with one word...but with three. Anticipation. Contentment. Peace. They're inexplicably intertwined with love and gratitude that becomes nothing short of an out-of-this-world experience. Every Christian, every human for that matter, seeks for such harmony. Sadly, few find it.


Perhaps these feelings, or to put it more accurately, this perspective is what Paul was trying to convey in Philippians 4:11-12, "Not that I speak from want for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both having abundance and suffering need."

What is this secret? Is it really a secret? A unattainable truth? On those rare occasions when my mind and heart are at a "hush", the desire to know and live it becomes glaringly obvious to my soul. It's that glare that proves it's still very much available to an open heart. But an open heart must look squarely at its spiritual state and the meaning of life as exposed by none other than the Holy Spirit. A journey I find myself on today.

What started as a classic drive down a peaceful lane proved to be an opportunity to expose the deeper spiritual longings in my heart. Something tells me that this a ride I won't want to miss...